Okay….I haven’t lost it. Not just yet, at least. Hang with me while I explain what I mean by mattering.
I was flipping through channels when I came across a drama about Chernobyl and the nuclear disaster there that caused the deaths of approximately 4,000. In the midst of the trial for those considered responsible, one man began coughing so severely that he left the room, escaping outside for some air. When the judge called a recess, another man went to check on his friend. And the ensuing conversation went something like this:
“Is it bad?” the concerned friend asked.
He held up his handkerchief, heavily blotted with blood. “Know why I came here to investigate the accident?”
The other man shook his head no.
“Because I was so convinced they’d never send me somewhere that was dangerous.”
The friend shook his head, sadly. “How long?”
“About a year. The doctor said it like it was a long time. Doesn’t seem long to me.” He sighed, wearily, and then continued, “They sent me right into the very epicenter of the danger. I thought they valued me. But I know for sure now, eh? I never mattered to them at all.”
My eyes filled with tears as I was drawn into the intensity of their conversation.
Mattering. My worth, my significance. Based on the person, place or thing I’ve chosen that says, You have value.
Where might we put our mattering? What might we choose?
…our looks, intelligence, degrees, experience, athletic prowess
…or our wealth, possessions, power, skills, a job, ministry
…could be people: the powerful that we know, friends, a spouse, our children
…and it could be a country’s rulers, those whom we report to and respect…who then send us to a land that is teeming with nuclear waste. Infecting the trusting and unknowing with a deadly cancer.
Every single one of those can fail us. Every one. They can wound and destroy the heart and damage the very soul. Not one of those is reliable or dependable or can consistently offer unconditional love, amazing grace, undeserved mercy.
Where have I put my mattering? If it’s not on Jesus, then it’s only a matter of time before I’m inflected with some form of a “cancer.”
Lord, help me to always place my mattering in you.
The only One who truly makes me…matter.