We had another newsletter 99.9% ready to go. And then COVID-19 happened. Postpone those original plans; begin again with what’s pertinent. And of course I (unintentionally) provided the perfect segue… Friday I started feeling NASTY. Maybe in light of current headlines, you assumed I meant physically nasty, right? And that I was going to add headache, scratchy throat, all-over achy flu? Nope, none of that. Instead, it was a WARNING that everybody—especially anyone in close proximity, aka CRAIG—better look out as I was primed and ready to take out this ill temper on SOMEBODY. Then Craig came home. Boy, did he get blasted! Poor guy. I dumped a boatload on him beginning the moment he walked in the door, and that only continued as we got into the car and drove to a restaurant to “enjoy” a good lunch. And we even told each other, Let’s appreciate this as it might be our last meal out for weeks. Well, to the extent we could, considering my all-around cranky outlook on life! But at some point, coming to the conclusion that we were not making progress (duh!), Craig suggested, “Let’s explore this more tomorrow morning. Because there’s obviously a lot more emotions churning inside you that we need to talk through, get out in the open, and then deal with directly and honestly.” Fast forward to Saturday morning: We’d just settled into our chairs with mugs of hot coffee when Craig bravely put out the offer, “Okay. So tell me. What’s up?” By then I did have a handle on the root cause of all that out-of-sorts perspective on life. “Everything feels out of my control right now.” (Already Craig’s nodding his head with a light-bulb look on his face.) “Everything. I slid down into an intense insecurity that sent my emotions spinning. Last night I lay awake thinking through this, and just the simple process of unpacking it and realizing “that’s what is going on with me!” has taken away the biggest part of my angst.” “How about we list out all the issues that are out of our control right now. I’m thinking that exercise will still be helpful?” “Yup. Let’s do it….” And that, my newsletter friends, was the bulk of our Saturday morning sharing. Not so different from countless ones in the past, actually. We were unpacking what was blocking our relationship, and then pro-actively working to create pathways: First of all, to our imminently trustworthy God and what he has to say about our fears and the decisions we need to make in spite of those fears. And then a pathway to each other that enables us to face this vulnerable, insecurity-producing time with a bond that can weather whatever comes our way in relation to COVID-19. Cling to the Lord. Hold tight to each other. God’s got this! |
Our best advice to all of you: 1.Create a “safe place” in your home where you, your spouse and your kids can all share emotions. No judging, arguing, or dismissing as irrelevant. Acknowledge that these emotions are indeed REAL, and all ages get to feel their emotions too! (This not a privilege of only the adults—or only the children!) 2.Once feelings have been recognized and shared and accepted, emphasize that now you can all make decisions on how to trust God, how to respond, how to act. 3.Point out that emotions come and go and at various strengths. Our faith in God’s promises to us, however, are constant and immutable. 4.Whether it’s just the two of you or you include your children, list God’s attributes and/or promises to us (i.e., God is all-knowing, so this pandemic is not a surprise to him; he will always be with us; etc.). 5.Take time to pray, thanking him for all those promises, and how he’s taking care of you right now. |
Just for a Chuckle Laughter is a good thing, and especially during stressful times. Many years ago when our son Jay was asked about his opinion on something, his wife Rachael interrupted him to say, “No, it’s not.” Which prompted Jay to quip, “Excuse me a moment while I ask my wife what my opinion on that is!” We’ve chuckled over that scenario for years now! So imagine Craig’s and my delight when the television show “Bob Loves Abishola” had a conversation in the same vein that made Craig and me LOL! Abishola has an exchange with her young son, Dele, which goes like this: “I want to get your opinion on something,” Abishola says.[ “My opinion? Really?” Dele responds. “Why are you surprised?” “You usually tell me my opinion.” “No, I do not!” “You’re right. You do not.” Need some ideas for you and your spouse/family during “self-quarantining”? *Listen to an audio book or read a book out loud to each other *Put together a puzzle *Ride bikes together, taking lunch along in backpacks *Go on a hike, taking snacks to share *Visit free online museums; click here for a list: https://www.mentalfloss.com/article/75809/12-world-class-museums-you-can-visit-online *Play favorite board games *Play video/online games as a family challenge *Call quarantined grandparents, using FT, Messenger, Skype, etc., and/or make home-made cards for shut-ins *Bake cookies, cupcakes, brownies….whatever! *Plan a creative family Olympics with favorite games: i.e., ping-pong, Uno, Mexican Train, Nerf guns, charades, basketball “horse,” fastest time running around the block, etc. Your challenge? Make some fun memories during this unprecedented time! |
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It’s like talking to you face – to -face! Thanks for this encouraging word.
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love you, my precious friend