 *Forget the fries: NOT THAT I’M ANGRY or DEPRESSED I guess I’d be surprised (or skeptical?) these days by anyone who insists he/she isn’t fighting low-level anger (that can quickly heat up) and/or some degree of depression. They are the flavors du jour for the pandemic of 2020, eh? Rather than deny their existence or expend (wasted) energy on attempts to eradicate them, I have come to this realization: The only way to make headway is to forget the fries. Or, in other words, center on the sandwich. Let me explain. Normally I would argue: Root out the cause of that anger! But we’re all most likely experiencing some level of the same issue: We feel completely out of control, and every day presents new challenges, making us feel even more angry. So skip that unnecessary rooting out step and go right to the fix. This philosophy states, Don’t waste your energy by focusing on eradicating your weaknesses; instead, work on feeding your strengths (which should then, in turn, also diminish your weaknesses). It’s a matter of where you concentrate your energies—and remember, especially now, you have a limited supply. Therefore, wise energy use means you decide to put spiritual, emotional and intellectual power into the qualities directly opposite of anger and depression: hope, joy, peace, trust. In the only One who can provide those bedrock qualities. Forget the fries. Center on the sandwich. Meditate on Romans 15:13: “May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope, by the power of his Holy Spirit.” Think about what Godly hope means. Write your own biblical definition for joy (hint: it’s not based on feelings of happiness which come and go). God has supplied everything you need to grab hold of what really counts. In “normal” times. Or in a pandemic.  Pretend we’re meeting here, at the Williford’s home…it’s quiet…one attention-seeking Lab is our only distraction….and we’ve settled into comfortable chairs out back for a good, long chat. Please allow us to speak transparently, and as if we’re talking directly to you. This pandemic has been a rough test of an individual’s resolve and character….and an even tougher test on marriages. When we’re feeling insecure, overwhelmed, afraid and depressed, the smallest disagreement can develop into a raging inferno. I know this is true because Craig and I have experienced that these past five months—and not just once, either. Those irritations that you know bug the heck out of each other? They’re no longer the mild sounds of me cracking my gum or the frustration of finding those blasted little seeds from Craig’s toast…everywhere. Suddenly…small frustrations lead to accusations. Stop with the gum! You just have to do that, don’t you? You knew you’d dropped seeds on the floor. And you didn’t bother picking them up because you assumed Carolyn, the maid, would do that! Accusations evolve into judgements of intent and motivation. Don’t even try to deny that you’re cracking your gum intentionally. To aggravate me. You don’t respect me and what I do around here. It’s “all about you” and my job is to follow you around and clean up after you. You say damaging words that can never be “unsaid.” Wisely, I think, we won’t repeat anything that falls in this category! At a time when we can’t meet face-to-face with other couples who provide support, encouragement, love and a “we understand; we’re having those same problems!” empathy, we desperately need each other even more. Craig and I aren’t alone in this. And neither are you! Solutions? Here are a few practical suggestions: Journal, and be 100% transparent with yourself and God. Zoom with friends who will both listen and share their stories honestly with you. Don’t just assume your marriage will coast easily through this time; instead, be pro-active about your individual devotional time….and pro-active about quality couple time together. Finding that a challenge? Don’t give up; be creative. Grab whatever you can get—even 15 minutes is something. Go for a walk; visit a coffee shop; take a quick drive for ice cream. Do something that invests in your union and that states clearly to each other: We will fight for us. We love you, and we’re in your corner. Let’s help each other through this season of hardship, agreed? We got this.  |
| Connecting More Deeply Reflect on the peace of Psalm 23: What makes that symbolism of our Lord as our shepherd so calming for our souls? Certainly most/many of you know this psalm well enough to quote it from memory. So use that: Repeat it as needed to inhale the invaluable rest and encouragement that God supplies here. What do you picture in your mind’s eye in relation to the “green pastures, still waters, and paths of righteousness”? How would you specifically define “restores my soul”? How is God currently “anointing your head with oil”? Christ is indeed our Shepherd. Picture him leading you through these uncertain times. |
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