Who, ultimately, makes the decisions in your home? What happens if/when you disagree?Who functions as the tie-breaker?Or…who holds the power to veto? From Carolyn: If you’d asked me those questions 40+ years ago, my answers would’ve been quite different from today’s. Trying to be “spiritual” back then (“Oh yes, Craig’s the head of our home”) countered by where my frustrated heart and …
A Balanced Life? Really? Live Your Priorities
From Craig:What are the most important characteristics you desired in a spouse? The research is consistent across all age groups: “A good spouse puts family above everything else.” When I hear that, I wonder if Carolyn and my family believe that I put them above everything else in my life? I hope they do, but how would they know? Would …
Oh, the Games that We Play, or…What We Have Here Is a Failure to Communicate!
I imagine if I could do a poll right now concerning one of the major attractions to your spouse, an overwhelming response would be how the two of you could talk for hours, never running out of things to say, never getting bored, never failing to intimately understand each other. So what’s happened since those first endless conversations when we …
Family Feeling Insecure and/or Fearful? Here’s Help: Family Time Based on Joshua 4:1-9
How is your family faring during this incredibly stressful time? Are you seeing the signs that your children are afraid, but they either don’t know how to express that…or you haven’t given them an open forum to do so? We all desperately need a “safe place” to voice our fears and anxiety and insecurities. And I have a step-by-step plan …
Oh, the Games that We Play: Twenty Questions!
EQUIPMENT NEEDED:Husband and wife, both equally fallible. Add just…the demands of daily living. GAME BOARD SET-UP:I would be so angry with Craig about something. Or I might be hurt. Could be a mixture of hurt and angry. But whatever I was…it was obvious. Mouth set in a grim line. Eyes narrowed or red from crying. Avoiding looking at or touching Craig. And the …
It’s (almost) Valentine’s Day – and You’re (going to be) Prepared!
NOTE TO ALL COUPLES: Tomorrow is Valentine’s Day – whoo-hoo! I assume you’ve wisely planned ahead and bought cards and/or flowers, chocolates, or even some sort of special gift. Hopefully you’re sharing a special meal together too, whether that’s out at a restaurant or in the privacy of your own home. (“Privacy” needing to be in quotes, since that’s possibly …
Developing Skills to Function as a Team
Now, I Understand Still struggling with the concept? Hang in there with us! *Here’s one more example from our experience:This past summer we vacationed with a number of my family members. We had a fantastic time, but often I ended up with the job of being in charge—finding out what everyone wanted to do, where we’d go, how we would …
Sex. Or Not. Part One
Part 1 2.21.2019 We were driving to a couples’ retreat center in Fairhaven, Tennessee, for some serious work on our marriage. The number one issue: Our broken sex life. Two weeks before, I’d summoned all my courage to tell Craig we needed a total break from sex until we’d worked out what was the core issue. In the previous months, …
Sex. The Background. The Crash. Part Two
3.7.2019 Craig comes from a family of origin that was very open about sex. Because of his parents’ frankness, he gleaned that sex could be a healthy and enjoyable part of marriage. And because there was no obvious hiding or embarrassment associated with his parents’ sex life, Craig never cast it as something to keep hidden or secret and therefore …
Sex. The Healing Begins. Part Three
3.21.2019 After a meal eaten in pretty much total silence, we moved to the living room to do the one thing we’d both agreed on when we booked this trip: Read Cliff and Joyce Penner’s The Gift of Sex, out loud. Even then we were short with each other concerning who would read first, what chapters to read, and how we …