3.21.2019 I thought it might prove helpful to you all if I interviewed Craig—capturing his perspective—regarding the story I shared in the last three newsletters. Let’s see if I can entice him to open up a bit… First Question: What’s your name, rank, and serial number? Craig Williford; The Best Husband in the World; 10 out of 10 2. Do …
Don’t Make that Noise…and for Goodness’ Sake, Don’t Tell the Kids
For this sixty-something woman, there are two “don’ts” that currently dominate my life. The first is “Don’t make that noise.” See, here’s my theory: When you first start emitting those little grunts, groans, and sighs when you get out of a car or move from one position to another or stand up from a chair—don’t get smart, twenty-somethings; someday you’ll …
The Word That Strikes Fear in the Hearts of Men, Part One
1.17.2019 We were close friends—five men and five women— standing in a kitchen enjoying each other’s company. The conversation was light, humorous and free flowing. Then suddenly the topic of intimacy entered our conversation. Within sixty seconds, every man fled from the kitchen to another location in the house, abandoning their wives. What is it about the word intimacy that strikes fear in the …
The Word That Strikes Fear in the Hearts of Men, Part 2
2.7.2019 From Craig’s desk…. Intimacy can be defined by three C’s: Closeness: The ability to let down your inner barriers and allow someone else to see you as you are. When you feel close to another person, you don’t mind if that person sees you without your normal defenses—psychological and otherwise. You feel safe with that person because you know that he …
So Who’s in Charge?
1.3.2019 So a conversation I overheard in the locker room this morning sounded all too familiar, and it went something like this: “Get your Christmas decorations put away?” “No, not yet. Not looking forward to that, either. It’s so much work!” “Is [insert your husband’s name here] able to help?” “Well…yes and no. You know how that goes.” Chuckles …
Just Questions
Just Questions 12.20.2018 Many have asked us, “How do you get so much out of a vacation time away?” Or we hear, “Why do you enjoy long car trips so much?” Simple answer: Because for years we’ve had a pro-active approach to our marriage and the opportunities that times like that offer. Specifically *We can ignore the possibilities, allowing each …
The Flip Side
12.6.2018 A type of “he said/she said,” but definitely about what one spouse intended to communicate….versus what the other heard. He said: “Let’s leave for the ___ at 6 pm.” He meant: We’ll be in the car and ready to pull out of the garage by 5:55 pm. That way we’re actually leaving at 6 pm. She heard: …
Forgiveness in Marriage: What’s Your Default Line?
11.15.2018 “You’re holding a grudge. For your sake, you need to forgive me.” “You need to just let that go.” “I’m sorry.” “Forgive me.” “Please forgive me.” “I’m sorry. Forgiven?” “I’m so sorry I hurt you. Will you please forgive me?” Seven possibilities. Which one would you choose as the “right” one when you’ve wounded your partner? What’s your “default” …
When You’re This Ticked
11.1.2018 It’s probably a blessing that I rarely recall the specifics of what Craig and I’ve argued about at any given time, but I’m definitely cursed with remembering the feelings. Plus a few images—snapshots that pop up in my mind’s eye. Rarely am I able to call up an entire argument: the details, what was said, the ability to picture …
The Manual
10.9.2018 We were exhausted from a long day. Both of us had just crawled into bed (my side toasty warm from the “woobie”—a heating blanket—I’d turned up to high) when Craig reached out to switch off the bedside lamp. “Oh drat. We left the light on in the hallway,” Craig said. Sighs from both of us. “So who’s going to …