The Flip Side

12.6.2018 A type of “he said/she said,” but definitely about what one spouse intended to communicate….versus what the other heard. He said: “Let’s leave for the ___ at 6 pm.”             He meant: We’ll be in the car and ready to pull out of the garage by 5:55 pm. That way we’re actually leaving at 6 pm.             She heard: …

Forgiveness in Marriage: What’s Your Default Line?

11.15.2018 “You’re holding a grudge. For your sake, you need to forgive me.” “You need to just let that go.” “I’m sorry.” “Forgive me.” “Please forgive me.” “I’m sorry. Forgiven?” “I’m so sorry I hurt you. Will you please forgive me?” Seven possibilities. Which one would you choose as the “right” one when you’ve wounded your partner? What’s your “default” …

When You’re This Ticked

11.1.2018 It’s probably a blessing that I rarely recall the specifics of what Craig and I’ve argued about at any given time, but I’m definitely cursed with remembering the feelings. Plus a few images—snapshots that pop up in my mind’s eye. Rarely am I able to call up an entire argument: the details, what was said, the ability to picture …

The Manual

10.9.2018 We were exhausted from a long day. Both of us had just crawled into bed (my side toasty warm from the “woobie”—a heating blanket—I’d turned up to high) when Craig reached out to switch off the bedside lamp. “Oh drat. We left the light on in the hallway,” Craig said. Sighs from both of us. “So who’s going to …

Where Have I Put My Mattering?

Okay….I haven’t lost it. Not just yet, at least. Hang with me while I explain what I mean by mattering. I was flipping through channels when I came across a drama about Chernobyl and the nuclear disaster there that caused the deaths of approximately 4,000. In the midst of the trial for those considered responsible, one man began coughing so …

Creating Pathways

   We’re excited to share this new name for our ministry to couples! We wrestled over a name for much of the way from Happy Valley, Oregon, to the Rocky Mountains and back (that’s a total of over 2,000 miles!), throwing ideas back and forth until I was convinced we’d never come up with a name that…fit us. But once …

Frisco: Our Court Jester

1. He tracks in mud and grass and plant seeds and grit and, and, and. You get the gist. 2. Too often his hair fits the “In our home, dog hair is considered a condiment” rule. 3. His total cost? A bunch, and quite frankly, I don’t want to add it up. 4. Part of that cost: He’s destroyed 2 …

We’re Searching for Interested/Interesting Couples!

Do you demonstrate these traits?                      *Age doesn’t matter, but demonstrating a desire to stay inwardly young as life-long learners                         *Dedicated to growing as a couple                         *Looking for ways to be pro-active at investing in each other                         *Committed to each other and your relationship                         *Open to creative ideas to add spice to your lives                         *Seeking …

The Nature of Peace

How can Paul pack so much into one short verse? From my devotions today in II Thessalonians 3:16: “Now may the Lord of peace himself give you peace at all times and in every way. The Lord be with all of you.” The true nature of peace… 1.It’s FROM: the Lord of Peace *Not from any other source or it …

Happy July 4 (Almost!)

On the 4th of July, I hope you’ll be able to take in a wonderful fireworks show, celebrating the freedoms we have in this great country. Every time I complain about the U.S., I hear something like the protests in Hong Kong because of their very real fears concerning China’s domination and retribution. Once put in prison in China, those …