1. He tracks in mud and grass and plant seeds and grit and, and, and. You get the gist.
2. Too often his hair fits the “In our home, dog hair is considered a condiment” rule.
3. His total cost? A bunch, and quite frankly, I don’t want to add it up.
4. Part of that cost: He’s destroyed 2 seatbelts (from the unused 3rd row of our 4-Runner). Like dummies, we had the first one fixed for…wait for it…$250. Then Frisco chewed THAT NEW ONE. So now he’s up to costing us $500. AURGHHHH. We’re not fixing that belt until it’s time to sell the car. The other belt he can get to? It’s wrapped in foil paper. And yes, that looks really…classy.
5.He can be a bit obnoxious about demanding attention from guests. Ummm…sometimes more than “a bit.” Just ask poor Miss Sue.
6. When I’m trying to cook, he’s always right under foot. So that I trip over him, constantly. One of these days you’re going to hear I broke a foot. In my kitchen, of all lethal places.
7. Dinner’s at 4 pm for him. He starts seriously bugging us at 2 pm. Just kidding! The staring, butting with his nose, and lying with an audible “hrumpf” ON our feet begins at 3pm.
8. He clearly hates having his picture taken. Selfies? I have dozens of pictures of one inch of his nose or the top of his head, and far too many of him giving me “wet willies.” Euuw.
9.A new “gift”: He’s discovered his voice. Barks at every shadow, noise outside, whim. And when he does this and we’re not expecting the sudden WOOF, we’re seriously startled. Do you know how dangerous that can be for old people like us?
So there you have it. My list that could be expanded to far more in no time. But it’s enough to make my point: The Reason We Have a Dog.
“Ummm…” you say. “This is why you rationalize having a dog?”
Actually, no. But when I was sweeping up a kazzilion dog hairs this morning, I was thinking how many of our non-dog-owner friends wonder if we’re insane, delusional, or just stoopid for being dog owners. And I realized this is what I’d offer in our defense:
Frisco makes Craig laugh.
Mostly, that’s it. And that makes me think of the Court Jesters that kings and queens employed. Their sole purpose? To make the stressed kings and queens…laugh.
You might disagree about royalty having such a tough life that they needed jesters. And I’m not going into a defense of Craig’s level of stress either. Not the point here. Just know that the weight of all Craig carries means he needs comic relief, and our Court Jester does his job well.
One of Frisco’s unique-to-him mannerisms: He uses his nose like a battering ram, butting up against us whenever he wants something or we’re not moving fast enough to suit him, old people that we are. And he especially does this when we’re leaning over his bin of dog food every day. Butts his nose right on our you-know-whats. And if he times it just right, he can nearly send me sprawling into that huge bin.
And that, my friends, makes Craig LOL. Music to my soul. Worth (nearly) every dog hair and hassle and credit card payment.
I just realized I forgot #10 on my list. Which is that this klutzy, entertaining, ornery dog has wrapped himself right around our hearts. Even with all those faults, we wouldn’t trade him for anything. Oh, to love a Labrador, and to have him love you!
Our Court Jester is named Frisco. Now, tell us about yours…