What We’re Learning from the Pandemic
 Feeling weary? Worn out? Frustrated? Just plain $@**%!!?? We are too. This is our attempt to encourage and say, We care about you; we’re here to help. That subtitle sounds like the proverbial “What I Did for My Summer Vacation” composition. But we hope this really is helpful rather than stale and redundant. And it’s short. Compositions about your summer—and newsletters during a pandemic—should be to the point. We get that! 1.Subconscious memories may be controlling you. If you’re more reactive or emotional than what’s normal for you, could this be one explanation why? Our son Robb died in 2010, totally unexpected and within 24 hours, from sepsis. He’d been to urgent care where he tested positive for a nasty flu that was going around, but streptococcus pneumonia was hiding behind the flu…and Robb died early the next morning. Is it any wonder that Craig and I would feel a heightened sense of insecurity and vulnerability during this pandemic? Ironically, though, we both missed what should’ve been obvious for the first few weeks; it wasn’t until Craig experienced a productive journaling time when he had that moment of insight. Both of us felt that “Oh, so that’s why” type of response that gave us just a bit more peace in our hearts. You may have memories that are affecting you also—possibly a death, but any type of deep loss can subconsciously heighten emotions, cause confusion, and provoke strong feelings that you can’t consciously account for. Dig a little deeper; allow God to calm your souls. 2.It’s good to share tasks you might not normally share—and it’s never too late to start. Years ago, when Craig was a full-time professor and I was an adjunct English teacher, we both faced our week of spring break with a thick pile of papers to grade. Oh—we had two active boys in elementary school, too. Who were also on spring break. It wasn’t long before the two of them were in a typical brotherly spat and immediately, Craig and I glared at one another. The unspoken charge: “Why aren’t YOU dealing with that?!” Needless to say, we had some communication and division of labor to figure out! We all need to find unique ways to share household chores during this time. If you both are out of work (or working remotely), you definitely have some creative work to do. Kids part of the picture? No reason they can’t contribute too, and a poster board chart, boxes to check, and rewards to be collected could smooth over some rough patches. As for us…shopping as a couple at our grocery is a task we don’t normally share. Who knew a bag of Fritos would be an easy reward for Craig’s good behavior?!  3.Timing is still everything. You have extra time together that you normally don’t have? Check You’re not overly busy, distracted, rushed? Check You don’t have any place you can/must/need to go? Check That seals it: It’s definitely time to bring up that touchy subject you’ve both been avoiding, right? NOOOOO! Dealing with the emotions of this period is enough extra stress. But we also realized another negative factor: We’d be making decisions out of our fears. Should we ignore emotions like fear when making decisions? No, absolutely not. Feelings and logic both play a part in a wise decision-making process. Right now, however, our fears are heightened to a level that could produce unhealthy decisions. Our advice: This is probably NOT a good time to tackle a tough issue that’s been sitting there, unresolved. If you do attempt something like that? We’re going on record: You’ve been warned!  |
| Connecting More Deeply With my God: I (Carolyn) don’t know if you relate, but my devotional life is rather stale right now. But I’m not stopping…not giving up. Been through these periods many times before in this relationship’s 50+ years, and I just keep at this discipline. Eventually, I know “this too shall pass.” With my spouse: Do we dare admit that our marriage is also feeling a bit …tired, blah, too-easily-provoked right now also? Okay. There, we’ve said it! And after 47+ years in this relationship, we’re also not giving up on US! Do we hear a “count us in for the ‘blah duration’ too!” out there?! |
| For Your Consideration: Use unscheduled time during this shelter-in-home period to stay in touch with or re-connect with friends/family you haven’t had time for lately. Use FaceTime, Zoom, Messenger or other technology for a more personal touch. You may find that’s an investment with the greatest “returns” you’ve had in some time! (Especially when you compare that to recent Stock Market losses!) |