| Two (absolutely) unbiased recent case studies from Craig and Carolyn’s life: We were at the coast for a week, seeking a break from the tension and weight of responsibilities. On our second day there, we courageously ventured out to the local grocery to buy supplies. While there… *so many shoppers aimlessly wandering the produce aisles that Craig instantly decides he doesn’t want any fresh fruit or vegetables *I feel the beginnings of annoyance *an employee nearly runs me down with a cart *annoyance ticks up a notch to irritated *three aisles were blocked by shoppers parking their carts right next to others’ or displays or whatever. We take several detours to get around the oblivious offenders *settling in at this point for a good stay: all-out cranky attitude *we couldn’t find several items we wanted/needed *another employee nearly ran over Craig *okay…it’s in cement now: we’re TICKED *at which point we look at each other with a “WE MUST GET OUT OF HERE” silent scream to avoid a possible murder in the canned foods section…and the announcement, “Clean up needed ASAP in aisle seven!” 2. I (Carolyn) am a lap swimmer. But since my fitness center initially closed down in mid-March, I haven’t been to swim since. Concerned that I might forget my lock combination—and figuring I probably hadn’t kept that info [or that it’s lost forever in the “junk drawer”]—I got out my lock to test my memory. The numbers 26 – 12 were foremost in my memory. I assumed that last (obviously forgotten) number would be easy to discover once I tried the lock. Nope. Wrong assumption. Nothing made that lock pop open for the last digit, so then I doubted 26 and 12 were correct. Tried other numbers. No progress. Finally forced to my only option: Dig through the dreaded bottom drawer in the kitchen (the one that is the catch-all for everything you’re afraid to throw away) for the lock’s info….and EUREKA. I found it! And the numbers were…. Not 26 – 12 – something. But 20 – 6 – 12. Had to LOL. And that’s a perfect illustration of my brain right now. Somewhat there. Nearby even. But a beat off…and that causes more stress and tension. For me. For our marriage. AURGHHHH!  |
The Tally Sheet Instructions: For the most accurate score, read and tally your score separately. Then compare notes….possibly add your scores together and divide by two. Some questions will grant you ranges of score; for those, use your best judgment for how much stress you’re feeling. 1.We can’t be face-to-face with…can’t hug…family and/or friends: 10 2.One or both of us in a profession that puts us “on the front line” One spouse: 8 points Both: 10 points 3.We have a child/children at home. One or more (“it’s YOUR turn to change him”) pre-schoolers: 3 – 5 One or more squirrely elementary age: 3 – 5 One or more eye-rolling (“if you do that ONE MORE TIME”) teenagers: 3 – 5 A variety of ages and number: 8 – 10 4.I’m out of my element and stressed as tutor for my child/children: 5 – 6 5.It’s not fun, but we’ve got a system down, remote learning: 3 6.The thought of continuing remote learning through the fall and into winter makes me want to scream/cry in the shower: 4 7.One of us is on unemployment: 8 Both of us on unemployment: 10 8.One or both at high risk for COVID: 7 (each) One or more children at high risk: 7 (each) 9.We’re able to pay our rent and bills, but it’s tight: 6 10.We’re not able to pay our rent and/or bills: 10 11.Zoom/Microsoft Team has replaced face-to-face meetings for my work: 6 We’re both using Zoom/MT: 8 We’ve got bleary eyes, headaches, video screen blues/depression – 3 (each) We’re so sick of Zoom/MT, we’re ready to throw the computer out the window – 4 Had to buy new computer: 5 12.We had to cancel one or more fun/vacation/get-aways due to COVID: 6 13. One or both or a child/children contracted COVID: 10 (each) 14.We’ve been cooped up in the house with each other for WHAT FEELS LIKE A ZILLION WEEKS—BUT WHO’S COUNTING?—BUT OUR PATIENCE WITH EACH OTHER IS JUST PEACHY, THANK YOU: 5 – 10 15.We got into a wrestling match at the Piggly Wiggly for the last package of TP: 20  |
What your score means: 0 – 65 – mild; you’re cruising along fairly well; give each other a high-five 66 – 95 – moderate; a few bumps in the road, so self-evaluate now ‘n then to keep your sanity in check 96 – 125 – approaching red warning zone; you’re in danger of imploding, so you’ve got some work to do 126 – 155 – DANGEROUSLY HIGH LEVEL; don’t waste a second…scream into a pillow as needed and watch for our next newsletter on solutions, arriving in your mailbox August 20 155+ – proceed immediately to bed, pull the covers over your head, and suck your thumb; stay there until the 20th Better: Get a hug…give a hug. Instant relief!  HELP AND PRACTICAL SOLUTIONS: Creating Pathways, arriving August 20 We gotcha covered! |