1.3.2019
So a conversation I overheard in the locker room this morning sounded all too familiar, and it went something like this:
“Get your Christmas decorations put away?”
“No, not yet. Not looking forward to that, either. It’s so much work!”
“Is [insert your husband’s name here] able to help?”
“Well…yes and no. You know how that goes.”
Chuckles from both wives.
“Yeah, he even offered to help in between football games yesterday. But his help is…”
Laughter again.
“I know!! I have all my boxes for the decorations specifically labeled. And I’m really organized about putting things where they belong. Wrapping breakable things in paper.”
“Exactly! I have these clear storage bins too. And I absolutely HAVE to be able to see what’s supposed to be in each individual box. I can’t stand it if they aren’t put away….right!”
“Oh, I get that! [husband’s name again] just doesn’t do things the way I want them either. And then we get in this big argument about it all. It’s just not worth it!”
“Oh, do I ever agree. I usually end up putting it all away all by myself. Every year it’s the same thing: I’m swamped with work after being away during the holidays. And then there’s all this stuff to put away. [Husband’s name] doesn’t end up helping me at all. Makes me so frustrated with him!”
“Same scenario at our house. Leads to the same ole argument year after year.”
Hands on hips, pantomiming in deep voice, “You want me to help but you really don’t want my help because you only want me to do it YOUR way. EXACTLY your way. Well, I can’t do that and so if you want my help, you’ve got to give up being so controlling! Blah, blah, blah…”
Laughter again.
“They’re just impossible, aren’t they?!”
“Absolutely. Well, I’ve gotta run…off to the store. [Husband] will be home by the time I pull in the garage. Wouldn’t you think he’d volunteer to help me get all that food put away? Not a chance of that happening either…”
Connecting More Deeply
With my God: When I’m seeking God’s will and asking him to grant that in my life, am I still clinging to what I judge that should look like? Am I asking for help…while defining pretty specifically what that “help” should be? Do I really want God to be “in charge”? Or does that involve too big a leap of trust?
With my spouse: Did the conversation sound familiar to any other wives/husbands out there? I have to admit that Craig and I have been down that road in far too many situations, far too many times! Discuss with each other:
*How do we walk down this path, balancing offering help with the other’s demands/requests/hope that “you will do it my way”?!
*In our home, who’s “in charge” for what activities?
*At what point does one of us (justifiably?!) say, “If you want it done specifically that way, then you’re on your own!”
*Or…do we always need to compromise? What does that look like? In the scenario of the wives and husbands putting away Christmas decor, how could we work that out together? Or not?!
With my community: Am I facing this same “do it my way” dilemma at work/church/various organizations? How do I work through that in this venue?
LEADER’S TIP:
Guide your class through a discussion of what being “in charge” and submitting to authority look like in various relationships.