Consider…
- a man delivers a heated ultimatum and then storms out of a professional meeting
- two colleagues are vilifying each other by gossiping to any who will listen
- narcissists in the organization create havoc—leaving pain and anger in their wakes
- political discussions lead to angry words, and sometimes, shouting
- -ingering issues have led to the “silent treatment/ghosting” between two previous friends
- former colleagues demand that they no longer be required to work together
- deep divisions mean that compromise is no longer an option at the organization
- former friendly groups have disbanded
- a previously respected leader is forced out
- a once thriving organization is split down the middle
- one angry staff member is determined to get another fired; he/she develops a plan to manipulate and bully others into joining that vendetta
- anger subtly nestles in every department and area of the organization
Think I’m describing secular organizations?
Think again.
What’s going on with our churches, schools and non-profit organizations? Why are we experiencing anger and its best buddy dissension in number and strengths that seem equitable to the secular world’s?
I judge one of the core problems is anger. And more specifically:
- We’re so uncomfortable with the emotion of anger that we deny its existence
- If we do acknowledge it, we “baptize” the emotion, allowing only “righteous” anger
- We’ve judged even any initial feelings of anger as sinful—an instant reaction that can’t be controlled
- By denying our anger exists, we’ve given away control: Anger driven underground manages the one it inhabits
Isn’t it time we had an open and honest discussion about anger—one when we agree to disband judgment of others because they vulnerably admit to suffering from the need to manage it?
I’ve never written my “Grief Story” because the timing wasn’t right, I sensed it wasn’t appropriate, and vulnerable ones might be victims of my honest words. But lately…lately I’ve felt the distinct impression that now is the time.
The reason for my hesitancy? Not only does my story contain suffering from the deepest well of grief, it also is bathed in anger. Yes, anger. If I’m going to honestly share my story, then I need you as readers to truly listen to me…to listen to the song of my heart (© used by permission only). Please go beyond my mere words to hear what I’m truly saying, what my heart is trying to say; please personalize it by reaching back into your experiences and memories; and lastly, please, above all, do not be tempted to judge before hearing my entire story.
Here are some of the common assumptions we need to study and evaluate:
- All anger can be controlled; therefore, all anger is sinful
- The bible guarantees that true forgiveness always results in the dissipation of any related anger
- Therefore, those who struggle with lingering anger have not truly forgiven the offenders
- The only permissible anger is righteous anger
- We have the power to simply make anger “go away”; “Don’t let the sun go down on your wrath” means we can and should be able to stop/dissipate any and all anger that we’re feeling
Feedback.
Your thoughts? Let’s have an honest, real, vulnerable dialogue, please.
Isn’t it time?