The Gift of You

Searching for a meaningful gift for your husband/wife, and can’t find anything that shouts THIS IS IT. Craig and I have a suggestion for you: All you need is a small box and a piece of paper. On that paper, jot down, “This year, I’m giving the gift of You.” Then, explain…

*You’re so very important to me, and because of that, I choose to invest in you

*This is my commitment: I will support you in a specific area of your choosing, a goal you desire to reach

*I will help you accomplish that goal in one of the various roles you hold

*Whether it be personal or professional; emotional, physical, or spiritual (or any combination of those), I pledge to do all I possibly can to help you reach your goal

What might that look like? Could be…

            *Your wife has been longing for some dedicated time with a friend/parent/relative. You schedule a week (or weekend, whatever) in the coming year when you’ll work to provide: transportation and accommodations for both at a place of your wife’s choosing. Sound too expensive? Be creative! Maybe you can use a friend’s home while they’re away on vacation…or a VRBO in the off-season. You could even “swap” homes with someone while you (the husband) and kids (yes, you’re entirely responsible for them during this gift!) stay with grandparents. You can do this—figure out a way to give a once-in-a-lifetime gift that she’ll cherish forever.

*Your husband has always wanted to hike the Appalachian/Pacific Trail. As your gift to him, you’ll provide support—verbal, monetary, and logistical. By working out a time that fits both of your schedules, and then helping him put together all the supplies that he’ll need, you help him make a life-long goal come true.

*Your wife needs dedicated time to take a class (maybe begin/finish a degree) or write or explore some new experience. If she chooses to study, you support and help by researching competency credits (heard of this? She gets college credit for life experience) and online courses at various schools she’s most interested in attending. And then you invest in her dream by setting up a “college fund and/or new computer account”; you list concrete ways you’ll contribute regularly (pack lunches rather buying lunch, etc.) to the account. You also might need to give her one day a week for dedicated study by your taking responsibility for the kids (elementary age and older, probably) and dinner on “her” day.

*Your frazzled wife (a mom of one or more children) desperately needs some away time for herself. You commit to “calendar sessions” for every week of the coming year. That means you’ll schedule a time each week (in INK, on the calendar!) when you alone are responsible for the kids…giving her at least 3 hours to do whatever she wants/needs. Hectic schedules will make that impossible some weeks of the year, but you pledge to keep coming back to your commitment to her, throughout the coming year. Make calendar time a regular routine to make this gift happen.

*Your husband has expressed an interest in doing something totally different from his desk job: He wants to make/build something with his hands. You inspire him to figure out exactly what that is, and then you commit to helping him secure the tools and materials that he needs—along with your commitment to give him the time required to complete the project. This might also work in reverse: Your craftsman husband desires time to do something different too—maybe a creative twist of his skills, like building bird houses rather than walls!

As I look at these, if I weren’t truly committed to being 100% supportive of Craig, I can just hear myself nagging or whining about the cost…the time away from me…the toll whatever will take on me, on us. That’s why this must reside firmly in our hearts as a gift. Of our time, our money, our investment. When I see the sparkle in Craig’s eyes for this gift from me, that will make every sacrifice worthwhile!

TRUST US ON THIS. He/she will love it. You’re not merely saying, “I love you.” You’re putting action to those words.

We have one more suggestion for a gift: Both of you sign up for our newsletters, and then commit to giving at least 15 minutes towards discussing them, together. Craig and I will even offer you the guarantee we used when we were a presenting couple for Marriage Encounter: If, at the end of at least 2 discussions about 2 newsletters…if your relationship isn’t better, then you can have your old relationship back!