The Scenario. The Story. The Upshot.

(A symbolic representation of how sharply Craig was “tuned in” to me…..)

The Scenario: A Din. A Denial. A Disagreement. A Discovery.

The Story:
DAY ONE
*I hear a strange noise next to the fireplace
*I tell Craig
*He informs me it’s “just the wind blowing down the fireplace”
*I give him a “WHAT?” look but let it pass

DAY SEVEN
*I tell Craig that I’m convinced the noise next to the fireplace is louder
*He shakes his head no. “It’s just the wind that you’re hearing; that’s it”
*I give him a squinty-eyed look
*Craig ignores that and returns to 147 back-to-back Zooms with 393 people to figure out 522 issues/problems/challenges (rough estimates on my part, possibly a tad high)

DAY FOURTEEN
*More emphatically, I tell Craig: “Now I hear the noise in the hallway and the bathroom!”
*We listen to the toilet. Not that. We listen to the hot water pipe. Not that. We listen to the cold water pipe. Not that.
*Craig’s extrapolation: “It’s the water heater in the garage that you’re hearing. Because it’s just on the other side of that wall”
*I give him a slinty-eyed, frowning glare. “But—”
*“You’re being obsessive compulsive. Let it go.” Needing some totally mindless escapism from work, he flicks through 1,485 channels to select “Kung Phooey’s Lopping off His Enemy’s Head and Other Body Parts Are Flying About,” or something like that

DAY TWENTY-ONE
*I’m insistent: “EVERY NOISE IS LOUDER. Isn’t there SOMETHING you can do?”
*“If it will make you happy, I’ll check the crawl space—that’s the ONLY place I know of to look for ANYTHING.”

DAY TWENTY-TWO
*Restoration repairman to Craig and me: “You have a pretty massive leak that’s sprayed water from one end of your house in the crawl space all the way to the very opposite end. Never seen anything quite like this before. EVERYTHING’S going to need to come out. It’s soaked!”The Upshot:
$35,000 later…
(Yes, you’re reading that correctly. In words, that’s thirty-five THOUSAND dollars. THIRTY-FIVE. THOUSAND. $35,000.00.)

This man, and THAT look….AURGHHHHHH!

When It’s a He Doesn’t Know or Know How and Won’t Admit It and So He’s Just about to Drive You Crazy Thing

An interview with Craig:

1.So, what happens in times like this? Why won’t you (men) admit you don’t know and let someone else – aka YOUR WIFE – help you?

“Because we so much WANT to figure it out! That’s just part of our nature: We figure out things. We FIX stuff!”

2.Is this “condition” intensified around other people?

“Absolutely. Don’t press issues like this around others—just do whatever yourself, or if it can wait….then wait until later. When we’re with others, we especially want to be seen as capable and tech savvy and able to fix things. So that compounds the problem!”

3.In our situation, what could I have done differently?

“Pressed me to check the crawl space. Or check it yourself. [NOTE: I DO NOT EVER go in the crawl space; SPIDERS might be in there!!] You didn’t need to go in—just opening the door would’ve been enough for you to know, believe me!
Bottom line: I didn’t want yet another problem to mess with. And yes, it ended up being a bigger problem because I wouldn’t pay attention to it. But in hindsight, I honestly don’t know how you could’ve ‘solved’ that issue!”

NOTE: Your home could very well be reversed! Is it you, the husband, who’s trying to get HER to relinquish responsibility for something?

Next Newsletter:

*How do we apply this scenario to our home’s dynamics?*What practical help can you give us, Craig and Carolyn?

*What’s the “takeaway” from all this stuff?

*The “Story” and “An Interview with Craig” were both used here with Craig’s permission!

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